Reflection of wise words... I grew up with my grandmother, all my life I have called her my mom. She was one loud person, who always wanted everything to be in it's place. I grew up in an environment that is full of respect, she always motivated me to read books. I remember from a very young age she would buy me story books and that was before going to pre-school. It was as if she was preparing me in advance, but little did I think that after growing up I'd still hold on to books without her presence. My writing journey began with just reading, she would buy me small note books and I would draw in them because that is what I loved to do back then. She would always come back from work tired but she always and always had time to listen to what I have learnt, never was she tired of my baby stories. Unlike other kids who grew up having bed time stories read to them, I would sit next to her bed, in my small blue chair and read to her. The look in her eyes told me that I was good. She passed away 18years later and I'm still holding a book, only now that she won't listen to me. Now I don't fit in that little blue chair. Now that she won't lie besides and glance at me. It was just last year when I lost my mom (Grandmother), her teachings are what I'm still learning this very day. She would call me in the mornings and read a verse from the bible to me, at times I'd mourn because I'm sleepy, but how I wish that I could still get that phone call today. When she passed away I wrote her a short poem............................................................. *When I least expect it*....It was only yesterday morning, when I was born, so innocent, knowing nothing of the world, understanding nothing of the word.....It was only yesterday afternoon, when I learnt how things work, what love is, what respect is.....It was only yesterday night, when I was still enjoying being with you and knowing you, loving you and those wise words. When I least expect it today you died!............................................................. She was one neat lady, he church memebers knew her, she would prepare her church uniform a week before, yes immediately after church she would pack her things and put them safe. She always said "you must always prepare your things whilst you still can, no one predicts what is yet to come". She died of two strokes, it was more than she could take. God took her too soon, how I wish my grandchildren could experience such a great feeling of being with her. She was wise, it is not her saying that I remember most, but her doings. She played a huge part of the family, everyone relied on her, I'm not the only one who lost but that doesn't make me profound or fond of death. Pain is scattered from one big piece of love. I miss her...My.....Grand......Ma, yeah she was grand. How I wish I was you, to the one who still has a granny, how I would cherish those moments, how I would pay attention to, how I would find her unboring and how I would laugh to her tales that would cause my stomach to hurt. How I miss her shouting, her joy that made me feel I belong. How I wish I was you, to you who still has one, how I'd hold on to it, for it is a journey worth beholding.

Door of hope...the past few days I faced my worst fear, for the first time I went to audition for poetry. I didn't know what to expect and I just took me as I am. They took me but told me to do a drama piece 'take note, I've never thought about it in my life' you can imagine the rest. I didn't want to show doubt, but I know they felt it, I just did it and I took the part. They loved my guart, they knew it was the first time but they saw potential. Immediately after the audition they put me on a play, I got the leading role, the performance was in two days. Yes I know, first time auditioning for poetry, first time drama, first audience only in TWO days time. The audience loved my role, they believed in my skills. After the play I performed a poem. Finally did it, I've said this before that this is my year. I took the first step, like I've said before that I am willing to learn. The play was fun, it was about a woman named Sibongile (I was playing her role), she had a husband of which she never loved, but loved his money. She had a boyfriend who wasn't working, she supplied everything for him and she was cheating. Sibongile planned with her boyfriend to kill the husband so that they share the money. The boyfriend eventually killed the husband but when he got back, Sibongile was with her husband's bestfriend. They planned it to play both the husband and the boyfriend. She ends up with her husband's bestfriend. The tittle is "Love hurts", to the men it was about love but to the woman it was about the game and money. Moments like these are to be kept in best known places. So today I sit and tell you that when the opportunity throws itself at you, grab it with both hands, you might never know how well it might turn out to be. I learned that and now I am teaching you that. Inner strength is what one should really have, unlike the protective gears that are always on display. Take a chance, we call them "opportunities" because they come once in a while. Believe in yourself, they will too. I didn't know I had it in me, but because I was doing what I love, it began to reveal itself. I only went for poetry auditions, I got drama opportunity too. My first audience, my first time. Fisrt times always out beat the last times. So go on take that baby steps, you will be crawling soon and you will be walking.

I salute thee...since tomorrow it is valentines day, I want to thank and salute the man who gave me nothing but love, my dad. Many men can be fathers but it takes a real man to be a dad. No man had his kindness, many girls are their princesses to their dad's but I was his queen. Gave me tough love at times but he was only showing me the way and look how well it turned out to be (even if I have to say it myself). It's sad that he can't be with me today, that he won't be with me tomorrow, but through it all his love will live on. I want to salute him for his bravery, his strength that kept him through lifes measures. I want to salute him for the type of gentle man he was, he really knew how to treat a lady. I salute him for giving me joy, it's his laughter that remains to the sound of my ears. I want to salute him for his care, always being protective of me. I want to salute him for being himself, that taught me to be me. Not only do we share the same qualities, we share the differences. He was a politician, today I'm a writer who speaks her mind, who knows her goals. I'm glad I took that side of his. I'm a proud daughter because of him having being my dad. I salute him!... I want to salute the woman who had always been there before I could be in this world, I first evolved in her world, my mom. She natured me with her motherly love. I salute her for being a mom, it takes any woman to be a mom but it takes a mother to be a mommy. I salute her sensitivity, the tender hands that helped till I could take over. I salute her beauty, on the inside and out. I salute her for her strength, learning to fight with a sword to save me from lifes cruelties. I salute the woman who would jump off the bridge for her daughter. I salute the woman who stood firm when my dad passed, her inner strength that passed on to me to be strong. Her pain seeing me hurt, I salute her for allowing me to face pain, to not try and take away but let me fight it and watch me survive through it. We all know that pain doesn't come once in this life time, and that even if she could have taken it 1st time around, she wouldn't take it away all the time. I salute her. I salute her for being herself, it will teach me to teach the generation yet to come. I salute thee (dear mom and dad). You both showed that love lives on either dead or alive. It's the experience of pain that one would not wish sadness to someones else and therefore love is left to share, the experience worth not being with held, but left free to conqour. I salute thee!!!

Giving....I've come to realise that giving is actually sharing. True giving is when you don't expect something in return, giving is free of charge, it comes from the richness of heart. No person is poor if they have a wealthy soul. One doesn't need credit for giving, after all credit in accounting is someone you owe, and you don't give because you have to, one gives because they want to, because they can. Giving is a priceless gesture, that costs nothing but gives a fortune of happiness. What the giver receives in return is blessings, it is accomplishments, it is gaining ubuntu (humanity). I give with words, at first I thot I was just spreading words, but the words ran free and affected people, infact they infected a soul and left them like never before. My confussion became your understanding. Give with what you can, don't fake it, it shows. Giving is not even realising that you are giving, because in your mind "you are sharing". It is the not so expensive gifts that makes a soul appreciative, how about giving free gifts of nature. Give a hug to someone, give a smile it will brighten someone's day, help that lady carry her bags, spend time with that person. Share jokes, you giving them joy. No money needed for you to be a giver, but a pure heart is required. Let's open our arms widely, welcome those, accept them for who they are, you are giving them hope, giving them a second chance, giving them love, giving them care. Celebrate the nature of giving, God gave us life, but how do we give back to him in return? By giving something to someone else. Happy giving...

Silly tears caused by meaningful things. Today is the day I hate having a phone, I just wrote a blog saluting my dad and my mom, somewhere along the way when I was publishing it, the phone just went off and lost the whole blog. I know it was a great blog, it was educational, it carried a message of understanding. I just didn't want anything to do with the topic anymore, maybe some day when I got over it. It was not fair, writing is my passion but I love expressing once and let the words spread. Somethings happen for a reason but it was unfair to me and to you guys. Whenever I blog, I want to blog about something that is original, something that one can relate to, I can tackle any topic but there needs to be a relatioship between feeling and that certain topic. Somethings in life can provoke us, no matter how little, we just have to cry about it at times, after all there is nothing that don't pass, if it doesn't then you the one who should move on and that is a lesson learnt today :(

Treasure....our real purpose in life is to find treasure, some of us don't know what we want to be when we grow up, some of us don't know if we have a purpose to life. Truth being is that you are growing and the best you can do is be you, not a certain character, you don't need somebody's reason to know your purpose because you are already in life for a purpose, you just need to discover it. We are all searching for the treasure, when you think of the world as a whole, the chances of finding the treasure are limited, but when you look around you, you have possible chances. We always wonder why God brought us to the places we are at (the country, the family, the city, the town and the environment), it is because he gives us a clue that your treasure is somewhere around you and that you don't have to search the world to get it. Some of us are sitting in front of the treasure box but don't have the key to it, some of us have the key but we don't have the strength to bring ourselves to opening it. Some of us have hope but there is a little doubt. We then realise that our treasure is the discovery of our selves, the key to open is being truthful to you just like a code to a safe, just exactly as the digits are and you should be you, that is how you should be or you will always look at the treasure but wonder what's in it. Don't stare at others, wishing you had that bravery to open it, actually do stare so that you see what it feels like to find your treasure maybe then you will know how to value things in life. Because some things come easy but it's the difficulty that comes with it when you have to keep it.

Birthday Girl...today was my birthday and wow I got so much wishes and love. Since I am a writter, a friend of mine (Phindy) bought me a journal. And that is a a one gift that a writter could be given. Had a blast, ma girls woke me up with some powder on my face and I'm so glad that they didn't do anything drastic. My facebook was buzzing, the phone calls and messages, on whatsapp, on my mxit and on twitter. I trully am greatful for having my friends and family around. A birthday is not just a day of celebration but a day of appreciating, and seeing people appreciate you in their lifes. Was turning 19 years young byt the way, and it's my last year being atee. I'm looking forward to many years to come. And today was just complete, two of my celebrity role models wished me a happy birthday and was really touched. It's nice every now and then to see that your good work is paying off and that you being supported.

Trying.... That feeling of just wanting to give in. That feeling of not having a sense of belonging and trying to involve yourself to where you may not matter. Then rejection hits and feel like you have tried everything, yet you go to places that you know won't satisfy you. Trying is not what should be said after doing something, trying should be something that you are currently doing. You can't say I've tried, that is giving up, better yet a good line for someone who is lying on the death bed. Trying is a practice that requires no education, that don't require knowledge but that requires wisdom. "Knowlegde is knowing what to do, Wisdom is knowing how to do it", so now you have the knowledge of knowing what to do and that is to try, but you haven't got the wisdom of how to do it. Not everything comes with a manual, some things you just have to figure them out. To succeed in life you must be a curious person, that will teach you to not wait for answers to come but ask for them first, to not take the path that is already open, create your own to see where it will take you. Curiousity is key to discovery. The mice had to be traped in order to get the cheese, but it never got to taste it, because death beat it to it. So no one wants to end like that. Just keep on trying, ofcourse some things will distruct you and you will think that you have discouvered a new thing, yet that new thing was distructing you from getting to an old thing, that you have always been trying to get. You were just a feet away, and you let it go, because of the new thing that you still have to try to get to it. Oh gosh, you didn't take steps back, you just jumped the finishing line, and another race begun and you wonder why you never achieve any races, why you never get to finishing lines. You skept about five trophies because you are always striving for something new, if you are you, nothing will be old, it will just be original and that is what makes a legend. Trying and doing are different things that can be the same to careless people, but can be done both by careful people. Just a fine line...that you might cross...so just keep on trying because you are already doing it...get it now?