Moving on... Facing reality

One of those days when you sit and think to yourself, why does the clock have to tick all the time, that why don't things ever stop for a while. We often ask ourselves these things when we find ourselves dwelling in the past. A while ago when I was doing metric I met this friend, we got along so well, we shared memories and the best part was that we got to see each other everyday because of school. She could tell when something was bothering me when we would be laughing with the crowed she could tell if I'm not happy. She sensed many odd things when something has gone wrong. You meet someone for a year, and you are never going to see them again, it was our last year of school and we had to path and find ourselves into the new world outside high school. She kept on losing weight, but we thought it was just normal. After metric we spoke a few times, as time went by there were no more talks, or getting in touch. In almost two years, I hear from another friend of mine that she is sick and that she is losing more weight than before. I then hear that the cause of it all is cancer. I froze and felt guilty for not keeping in touch the whole time. Then finally I got the urge to just greet her via a social network, I tried to act as normal as possible. We continued having normal chats as though nothing is wrong. What had struck me the most is that this person doesn't have much time left, this person didn't tell me personally about the illness, and here I am pretending to be okay as if I know nothing. It brought me into tears, it amazed me how easily we found our friendship and how easily we let it slip away, but actually how difficult it is to let go. How I was afraid to ask "how are you?", knowing she is not well, knowing she is dying. I kept on asking myself that maybe she is too afraid to tell me about it, that she thinks I wouldn't handle the bad news well. Yet on the other side I kept thinking to myself that if I tell her I know she will get more sick because she will worry. But if you notice all I've said is "Me" "I", what about her? Who is there for her in this hard time? How is she coping with the fact that each day is slowly fading from her life? As I opened my year book (metric) I read the message she wrote there, how each word came to me rolling like a storm, how it hit me hard as though I was just in that moment when she wrote it. It is one thing to hear about someone's death (something that had happened) , it is totally another when they are in the process, and there is nothing you can do to help. All you do is to keep on praying, that is what our grandmothers and mothers have taught us. A little voice creeps out and just whispers that "there is always hope", as though the cancer will disappear. Knowing very well that all you can do is just be there for the person, show them love, and gratitude for adding a value in your life. Finding that strength to face them and helping them face the difficulties of this life. It then comes to mind that life is not cruel, it may be unfair at times, but it is just here to teach us, that every situation is a scenario, you must study it well. You just have to continue to make your goals and achieve them, knowing that you are also doing it for those who can't. Taking each opportunity with both hands. Moving on knowing it was/is never your fault, but nature intended it to be so. Being greatful for life.

World of Poetry

If I could wake up in a world of poetry
Never would I have to compare and complain
For it is plain clear
That we share the words of writing

IF I COULD Wake up in a world of poetry
Never would I fear
For I tear the history of my past
Without a tear touching my delicate chics

IF I COULD wake up in a world of poetry
Mistery wouldn't be history
For we would be dancing to different
Rhythms of misery

IF I COULD wake up in the world of poetry
The words would define peace
From those broken pieces
Of our vase's
That hold together lillies


By: Yamkela Sigwili