Pride........pride is a two way street you know the negative and the positive side. It can either go right or well......left (wrong). If you are doing it for them, then you'll live your whole life proving a point. Pride is a good thing, it is a motivation button, where you keep on improving your abilities...to yourself that is. Pride is when you see joy through a mother after graduating, or giving someone else a hand. Too much pride can go left, and too much pride mostly comes from the things that do not belong to you, for instance your parents are wealthy (I don't like the word rich), and you are on a high level and saying "we are rich" (the rich word is for people who got an ego), hun you are not rich your provider is, the person who earns the money. Pride is when you show gratittude, when you are being thankful. Pride is from within and you don't always have to show it, you know it and they might know it too ,so why over do it? Too much pride is from level 1 to level 5 without having experienced level 2,3 and 4. You must know all the stairs, we all know that once in a while you fall. So how will you know what equipment to use to get back on, if you cheated? When everyone uses the word "pride" it often follows a bad comment, and in most cases it is true. Why not give them a reason to keep on guessing? It is not what you say that will be remembered, it is what you do, and you must do YOU, in order to become the best (one of the best advices that my role model has given me). And that my dear friend is pride...in a good manner. Pride doesn't have to be a bad thing, so stop over doing it and just be PROUD.

Big Dreamer....... Being a big dreamer takes a lot of effort, the creavitity behind it, those visionary and crazy idea. Sometimes I get to ask myself if are my dreams bigger than me. Don't tell me about reality, it is what I eat, what I breath, what I speak and what I live. Fantasy is what puts me in a calmer place, where butterflies get to fly free, only people who matter are in it. Do you sometimes feel that you are too quick for your dreams? Well hun there is no fast or slow pace, no age restrictions, no limits. A big dreamer is one brave person, they are like the farmers who plant seeds in the garden, water them everyday and watch them daily as they grow. Okay I always say I am a big dreamer but I never really share with you guys in detail. (Here are some from my list) Well dream number 1 = Is to finish my studies at varsity, having a platform to fall on. Dream number 2= publish my book (and other books yet still to come). Dream number 3= become a professional poet. Dream number 4= own a craft book company/project, where memories are kept in most fun ways. You see when I plant my seeds, I plot carefully. The dream goals are a link to each other. I don't look at one direction, but however my directions are related like South and North, West and East. They rhym, they form a sum and equals to a square, a balance. What I'm trying to tell you is that dream so big that they laugh in your face, dream so big like the universe evolves around you then prove them wrong and have the last laugh, not because it's pay back time, but because you are ripping the fruits that you planted. If you are not a dreamer and wish you had something to dream about, just take an odd thing, like what you like eg. A watermellon, it's so big, it's tasty, juicy, enough to share, enjoyable and it has fascinating colours. That is all the ingredients you need in the world. Know your passion, show compassion, come to realisation. You are worth your dreams after all, so do dream big. With all the laws out there that are sometimes hard to remember, do remember this, that you are allowed to dream. Q= Are your dreams bigger than you? A= you are as big as your dreams.

Giver Sister ..................................................... A sister that is true... A sister that is you... Bound together through our beliefs... Bound together through our hopes and dreams... .................................................................. We are in a valley... Of possibilities... What a lovely view... Each lilly represents opportunities... Of everyone of you... ................................................................. I took a walk today... With a giver... My sister... A walk that turned into a jurney... ................................................................. Today is not here to stay... Today is here to take me to tomorrow... Tomorrow ofwhich will turn today into yesterday... ............................................................. A giver was confussed... But a giver was given a hand... Now a giver understands... ................................................................ A sister is standing tall... All accessories on... A jacket of confidence... And a perfume of presence...

Taking some time off..... I know it's been days not blogging but even a writer can not disclose everything, when a writer gets a visitor (either pain or happiness) you just want to hold to in, you wait for the ink to dry, you enjoy the moment, you pay attention to it. If it's a difficult situation you don't just tell the equation but you find your way around it then give a solution to free a reader, to not wonder but understand. Sometimes the feelings are undiscribable and we search for words to say, it's not that the words are lost or gone or forgotten but simply because they are all there and you just don't know which one to use. Some people take time off to restore something or get rid of something, I take the time of to restore and get rid of something. It's amazing how "or" and "and" can change a sentence, like "If I could" and "I will". The positivity that comes with it and the negativity that is left behind. Sometimes one gets tired and just wants to forget about it all, but it often finds a way back and that shows that you can't escape it, you simply just have accept it. They say you don't choose your destiny, true but I'd like to add that you do choose your jurney, which ever road you pick will lend you where your destiny will be waiting. You just have to choose your jurney carefully because one route is enjoyable, one route is unbarable, the other is just in between. So don't take the perfect one because you might never learn anything, don't take the imperfect one because you may only know one side of a coin. Take the one that has the mixture because you have a lot to learn and you don't know which one your destiny will require. When you get a house, you renovate it and turn it into a home, so that you get the comfortability. Wherever you may go wherever you are take that house and make it a home, because not only does it belong to you but to those who are yet still to come. Taking some time off doesn't neccesarily mean you are left off the track but it just means you were not participating in the race, you were just on the side way. Only you know your limit and therefore never be intimidated by people who tell you that you are a loser because you know your strength. They are doing it for the audience and you know that you are doing it for you, for it is YOUR jurney after all.

YamkyFunkyChaz: Slave of pain...... Hi my name is soul, I dwel in ...

YamkyFunkyChaz: Slave of pain...... Hi my name is soul, I dwel in ...

Slave of pain...... Hi my name is soul, I dwel in the environment of life, I am not seen, I live inside a human beings body. All my life I have been a slave of pain, nobody gets affected by me, I clean the eyes, I heal the heart, but the dirt stays with me, bruises live with me. Pain is my master and therefore I do not question it, I bow down and I tell it everyday that I need it. Withought pain I am nothing. I watch these human beings use me, help is offered but they turn it down, because they know that the "soul" will will bare it all. Why should help be offered, these human beings don't give a damn, help should be given, without expecting anything in return. Life is my hood you know, I just love how it teaches these people, lessons of life are tough but the toughest is that I get to share with the human beings. I am not sure in what part of a body I live in, toes? they step on them they quickly reach for their feet, pain comes to me, heart? It gets broken and the glasses plit on me and I get the scars, head? they say bad things, the body part named ear gets to hear it but it still lands on me. What about me? Who cares about me, I am trapped in here, as long as this body lives, I shall share the sorrows, I shall carry the burdens. I am a slave, and that makes me angry and I become very dangerous. Since I am attached in every part, I plot a plan. I fill the head with non-sense, I make the heart feel useless, and as usual the human body gets weak and wants to escape, the only way is through death, ha ha I love it when it comes to that. Murder yourself, take your life away, take me away, your soul. You see it doesn't have to come to that, let me be my own master, set me free and I shall return the favour. Take me anywhere and I will always be there. Talk to me and I will listen, but if you listen to me too. How can I help when I am set as a prisoner? I am a slave, the soul, I carry burdens, pain. I dwel in dark places, light makes me blind because I am used to worshiping you. Don't you get it? Set me free and you'll be setting yourself free.

My SOUTH AFRICA...............The country has been through a lot, many jurneys that we do not know of because some paths faded. Is it because of the new generation? Are we to blame? Apartheid existed long before we were born. We hear stories of what had happened, but some of us are still left in the dark. We have seen movies such as Sarafina, yes they were educational but the youth still focusses on the present, they don't see the use to dwell in the past. At times I wish I was born in the past, the olden games that the children used to play seem so enjoyable, the type of dances that came straight from the heart, the respect that existed between mother and daughter, father and son. How grandmother's did not use chairs but use what we call "iSicamba" (a mat made with grass) in Xhosa. Where there would be close relationship between grandmother and grandchild, sharing tales, being taught, do the beading together. Young girls would go to the forest to get wood, so that they prepare supper. How they would giggle and share silly things in the river whilst caring water and some doing the laundry. There were no televisions to disturb them, but there existed an enemy. An enemy that distroyed families, apartheid created divisions, destroyed what was built. The belongings of those were taken away. Now do I still wish I was born in those times?. Where now I'd be a young domestic worker, who worshiped "oMadam", who had already been married with kids, a husband to see once a month, either than now that I am at school, getting good education, young, not a mother, working towards my goals. We don't seem to show interest of what happened in the past, but do we think about the people who lost their family members? It is not going to benefit our lives, because our lives have already been benefitted by the people who died for us, people who fourt for the innocent souls yet to be born. They did not just foccuss on the present, they thought of us even before our existence. We are given choices to choose what subjects to take, what schools to attend, they did not have any choice, they decided to end it. They gave us better ulternatives...a bit of you must be interested in history now... Can you imagine what kind of life we would be having if it was not for them. I'm too afraid to mention names because I might not include them all. Such selfless people. Hearing about apartheid makes my heart heavy, but for those who fourt against it have light hearts because they see us having much choices. Son's grew up without their father figures because they went far away to provide for them, today father's play with their son's soccer. Why should we worry about the past? So that we know history, we understand struggles, we learn about the sacrifices, all in all to appreciate what we have today, they are not asking much, just one thing....to be greatful. Is it too much freedom that we having? Today a young girl is allowed to make abortion without a parent having the knowledge of it, is that what was fourt for. I am not against it, but it is over used. Sometimes we don't choose paths, they are made for us. They went through them bare feet, they bled, badly bruised, but they made it. Are you still thinking of giving up? When we go home "ezilalini" (rural erears) we complain because there is no electricity, water is fetched from far places. We don't realise the beauty of the mountains, the green fields, the rivers that flow. My South Africa, my pride, my home. Racism existed now not anymore, hatred risen now we share love. Today the black and white can hold hands, better yet hug, finally came to realisation that we are one. My South Africa, a country with a history, a country full of hope, freedom is our asset, we own it. Viva SA viva, ma fist is held up high, not to show anger, not to start fights, but to show victory, to show peace and to show togetherness. Unity can never collapse, no one to destroy it beacause we are all united.

I know the year has already started but I would like to talk about it. I love how people have new year's resolutions, it gives hope and some excitement. Never in my life have I pledged for something, I've always seen everything the same, the only thing I thought was different is that it's just a change of the title "2012". Last year(2011) really got to me, I discovered somethings. There was something different about this year .......:)....... I made a resolution, something I never in a million years did I think I'd consider. Now I believe that it's true when they say "each person has their year", I feel like it's my year "20self". I had always lived my life on peoples expectations and almost begging for them to believe in me. This year is all a twist, I do believe that I will make it, I am a person who is always willing to learn. You know when you have a nightmare, it haunts you even on a daily light, my dream haunts me to make it happen. It feels like a must, a monster that I cannot control. Not do it because I want to be known, but do it because I want to heal, give hope, be an example of good. I met the love of my life, I am not rushing into anything, I am more than inspired to be patient as this love is patient with me. You know when I left high school, I didn't know who I was, untill six months down the line when I realised that my talent is worth of something. Even thou I didn't believe much in myself then, I still kept on doing what I love, it never stopped me, never left me. At times I get so scared that I chase it away, but it always finds its way to come in. At times it says nothing, and I stare at it. I used to plan with a crowed, but the crowed would back out, I was so afraid to face it alone but that got me nowhere, I've learnt to hold the knife by the blade. I plan alone but I want to share with the crowed. At times when you look back, you asked "why" with tears flowing down, and now you looking forward and saying "this is why" with a smile. I am a visionary, I think of what is impossible but still enjoy it because it adds to my positivity, I know it won't come out as I visioned it but it will be something similar. I am brave enough to take on the universe, I have small tools, I will be picking up some along the way but hey I will be working towards to building my FR (FantasyReality). Do you feel that this year is yours too? Are you brave enough to take the world heads on? I don't care how small it is, you are making progress and you are making it happen. Make sure you are not doing it for them, make it for you. Be selfless at it and think about those,they need people like you in their world, be visible. YamkyFunky on the go....

So when I thought I was giving up, something hit me. I was watching one of my favourite shows on tv today, and enjoying it as usual, but something was different. One of my role models was on the show. I love poetry and I have never met someone who is as passionate or who writes poetry. Sisi Lebogang Mashile is the most greatest poet. I know Xhosa doesn't fit in it, but I have so much respect for her. I was just having an ordinary day, until I saw her on screen, by the time I was cooking and I just didn't want to move, I almost burnt my pots. Whilst watching the show, I got a call from my friend, and she said "Lebo Mashile is talking about you, talking to you my friend" and that really touched me beacause she is one of the few friends who support me on my writing and especially poetry. Sisi Lebo is more than an inspiration (I'm growing to see that), she is my motivator. Sometimes it's hard being the only child, especially when you dream so big like I do. I am never a lonely person when I have my pen and paper. She warms my heart and she is a sweet person. Like I said the other day that technology really brings us closer to our favourite celebs and I am forever greateful. When someone is successful for me it is never about the success but the struggle behind it, because the story is what keeps one going. It's hard to describe the feeling or her (sisi Lebo). I have many role models but none are like her, I sometimes feel that "maybe it's because we have a lot in common" lol. She is natural and beautiful. Sisi Lebogang adds more colour to my grey days she always completes the dots because when I put a full stop, she somehow puts another dot to the full stop to show me that there is still a lot to be said/ to be done. 2012 is my year, I feel it. A year of possibilities, poets take jurney's that are never taken by other people not even by other poets but somehow we cross along the paths. She is the light, some love her because she is famous, some love her because she is beautiful, some love her because she has "that" voice, I love her because she is.