Strength of a family

When one person holds the whole family together, when their gone, it all falls apart. That person is mostly a woman, with grey hair. Wisdom to guide, cherished when no longer there. When a family is most filled with girls, the relationship gets ruined when their teens, when the other is irresponsible and the other reliable. When the other is the most quiet. How they would fight about silly things that later on count against them when they are all grown. A mother who is always there to stop their fights, who always prays, takes them to church, then prepares a feast for a real get together for  sunday lunch. How the two girls would fight and "mama" always there to stop it, when the third daughter is just quiet. When they are all grown, when "mama" has turned grey hair, how the third daughter is still quiet, how the two never stopped fighting. When grand kids are affected, forced to be apart, observing all the negative energy, and yet still manage to put those cute smiles on their faces. How it would make mama happy having all her kids around the table, to her it doesn't matter much about the arguments. She is most concerned about the quiet daughter, she never says how she feels, "everything is okay" she would say. When the woman with grey hair numbers are numbered, laying at the hospital, nothing she can do. The fist that folded the hands can't hold them no more. When fighting never stops, when they don't visit each other no more, they bump into each other where the old woman is resting. A part of the old lady wants to be set free and leave this earth, for she has had enough. But another wants to stay, hoping when she wakes up, she can fix things. What would change this time around? None of them are showing gratitude. Silence never made peace, except tear ones soul apart, shouting never solved a thing, except raising noise. A woman with grey hair is tired, she wonders where has she gone wrong? Just because bricks are building up, it doesn't necessarily mean they are stable. Years gone by, bad habits grew. Does one bring it all down and starts building or does one try to shape it up. Trust broken between siblings, who fixes it, how? The old lady needs love, the woman with grey hair is tired, she has had enough. She did all she could, till she couldn't no more. If you have an old lady who needs to be cherished, loved, prayed for, then do so. She is tired, its time you fight for her, its time you said something, its time you lowered your voice, its time you let children be, differences are fine, total different is not good. If sisters of one household don't get along, where does it leave the rest of the world? The old lady is tired, let her soul rest, don't make life make that decision for you, she is tired!

Have you found your purpose, what are you waiting for?

Have you found your purpose, what are you waiting for?....  I would like to believe that we do live in a world of possibilities. Impossiblities are what we face only by the word of mouth from someone else. Prosperities are what we long for when we standing and hoping that one day is one day. Reaching a destination is not about stopping, it is about learning about that certain environment. Many people ask the question "what do you do when you reach your dream?" and many will answer "dream another one"... I ask "really...another one?" "what have you done with that dream that it is being disposed?" "would you go that far only when you get it you drop it?". When finding gold, you need to manufacture it, make something out of it that is valuable, that was worth the effort, that makes you realise that is was worth that extra mile. Have you really found your purpose? I'm not talking about something that pleases other people, but that gives you pleasure. If you have found your purpose don't stop there, make a brand out of that cloth. If a shirt was made from it, maybe it's time you make a skirt, better yet add another purpose to that one. There is nothing wrong in dreaming another dream after you have reached it, but don't neglect it, add to it. You would be surprised if you went through my list, and you will be surprised of the few I've achieved and you will wonder if "will that girl reach them all", yes, at the back of my mind I already have. That is the attitude one needs to carry, it sounds like its a lot of work, but it reduces the load. Today I discovered that the roads we walk are similar but however NOT the same. Let someone inspire you to be you, to be the best you can be. After all originals always take the frame, copies are passed on to every hand, but never last, copies are all worth the same. Originals land in few hands. If you haven't found your purpose what are you waiting for? I often regard dreams and wishes different. For me a wish is my impossibility that I'm okay with (Like dreaming of dating my favourite musician, or flying, or wishing I could hear someone's thoughts), they bring out the fun, humourous characters in me. Dreaming is where I find my possibility, where things are more real, that happen in reality. Yes I have entered for competitions, no haven't won them all. But that is the best phase, you prepare as though your life depends on it, you get rejected, but within that you get improvement, you start to realise that it is preperation. Remember before you go out there to perform, you practise many times only for one show. So don't let three rejections make you lose your purpose, keep your eyeball on the line. Keep on aiming, be glad you missing, because you correct yourself for the next move, and soon you will be scoring. You don't just learn for your own purpose, you learn to teach, to couch, to guide. What is your purpose? What are you doing with it? If you don't have one, what are you waiting for?

Mothers Day

Today is mothers day, these strong beautiful human beings are being spoilt today. We cheris and love them most, we might not tell them by day, but today is the day to actually show them how much they mean to us. We don't just wish those who gave birth to us but to those many women in the world. As we are rejoice, some people are looking back to what was, we do not just celebrate to those who are alive, but to those we once shared memories with. There are people who don't have mothers and that wish for a hour to spend with them. It is an eye opening to those who have mothers, that you must start appreciating that woman. Some don't even know how it is to have a mother, but we are in a society where we are raised by our aunts, by our grandmothers, by gardians, even them are our moms and we must show them how much they add a value to our lives. There are parents who are watching as other children hug and kiss their mothers, for they don't have kids of their own, some have medical conditions, some are just not mothers yet and some lost their kids to death. Other woman's kids ran away from home, they still have hope that they will return, even those woman are our mothers too. This day is to celebrate and enjoy. It means more, for we are talking about our heroes, a person who would jump at anything to save you. A person who loves you dearly, a person who watches you make your own mistakes in life, but are there to correct and guide you. I'm talking about a person who wakes up every morning to put bread on the table, a person who provides of which is more than giving but with a pure heart. A person who is hurting and is able to smile at you, a person who droped you at school when you were young and went on their knees just to give you a hug and a kiss, not caring whether they're still going to work. Who held you at night when you had nightmares. Who is able to give you tough love. Happy Mothers Day to you dear beloved. There are many songs we dedicate to you about a woman, a mother and a friend. Mothers are brave enough to let their children to go and discover the world, watches you as you fall, as you rise and as you achieve. They are proud even if you fail to score. Moms hate to see their kids cry, but they prefare that they cry than to hold pain in, nothing kills them more than the silence of their kids. Mothers are our energy, our water, our air. They are natural, never do we pretend when they are near. We indeed do love you mothers of the world. And we shall forever need them, even thou we don't show it at times, they stay close, and live in our hearts. Happy Mothers Day!

A girl like me

The fact that a girl like me comes from a small town in EC and have tasted the big cities of this continent means something. The fact that a girl like me has seen herself in a magazine article, no matter how small it was, shows decication and determination. The fact that a girl like me is able to stand infront of a crowed and recite a poem means there is after a worrior inside me, a brave soul. The fact that a girl like me has passion to write SA stories, they raw truth, I give facts, motions and show compassion, I might not solve x, but I do show the formula for it. That fact that a girl like me knows how to spare moments, knows how to enjoy good ones, tries to deal with bad one shows I take note to life. The fact that a girl like has goals to score, tells that I do play well in this field, I'm the champion but I am a participater, I don't warm the bench, I strive. The fact that a girl like me is raised by brave human beings, braught up by a single mom, who has a backbone, who would jump at anything to save me, tells that I am blessed. That fact that a girl like me is only at her teens but already making a difference, shows what leaders we will be having tomorrow. So tell me what fact is about you? That fact that a girl/guy like is.

AN EMPTY FIST

We are always holding on to something, then we start to realise that you were holding nothing, just an empty fist, what was there long faded. We fear so much to even open the hand because we think what is there might escape, many things leave us physically, but the psychological part of the mind still believes it's there. We do not lose touch with reality, we lose touch with fantasy, we don't believe in dreams because of what had happened. We don't even know where pain lives, for each part aches. Eyes lost their clear vision for tears always over flooding. Yet we still hold on because we think there is something worth holding, we feel as thou it's still there because the flesh touches each other, the palm is feeling pressure. Maybe we fear opening because we know that there is no more... I don't want to associate with anything, I want you to relate to what you know causes the mutuality. Our brains are connected to the heart, that is why at times we don't know which one is right, there is a personification within a connection that makes each statement seem true. This is like a multiple choice, either there is one right, or one wrong and all of them right, or all of the above wrong. But through it all, one has to make the tick, one has to circle and one has to make a mark. Each wrong is a subtraction to the total mark. Complexities are what each face on their phases in life. I won't tell you not to hold on, maybe that is what keeps you going through the days or years, maybe that hope is the one telling you not to give in. Atleast a good still comes out of it. But you might want to consider opening that hand, not to free it and leave it empty, but for it to assist you in carrying the packages you deal with!

Unfolding the blinded side

My thoughts spoke to me, my actions spoke for me, my writing narrated as my eyes witnessed, my feelings executed and you are receiving... Something hit me today, it hit me hard that it hurt, how much attention is paid to youg girls, young boys go through similar phases and we have the mentality that boys are just boys. I refuse to use the word guys or men at this point, because they are all inner boys, and they need to be heard, I'm talking to those who are boys, to those parents, to those friends, to those siblings, listen..... Dear young boy, we know about your struggles too, girls are known as people who cry, I know you try not to, it might be tears you think you locking, but it's actually pain you lock inside, those tears will set you free if you unlock... Dear young boys, we know girls have bff's to talk to, even journals, but amajita (guys) just tell you "hade ntwana" (sorry dude) and that's the end of it. You also need someone who will listen to you, no matter how ridiculous it might be, girls cry over such things often, and it helps... Dear young boys, there is no use to hide, you are not hiding alone, your troubles are with you, reveal yourself and let's see which trouble will be left, that will remain behide. Troubles are cowards, once you start facing them, they run away, don't keep them... Dear young boys, we know you also lose valuable things and people in your life. If you speak through rap, then do so, if you speak through dance, do so, if you speak through writing, do so. Losing people in your life is not easy, don't let silence close your mouth, open the gap and breathe in a world of pure humanity, don't think because you're a guy, you can't offload. Dear young boys, we don't know your secrete, but we will know it if you are willing to talk and we will find solutions. Many young boys get raped on daily basis, they are abused, left homeless, neglected and made feel less as men, standing up doesn't just give you confidence, you know...being "the guy", standing up is letting your pain sit down, for you are showing it who is the teacher. Dear young boys, your swag is nothing compared to the weight in the bag on your back. Talk let the man in you survive, don't seek for a role model, be one. And finally dear you, choose awareness not ignorance.

FRIENSHIPHOOD

I'm learning that frienship isn't like a stone that if you leave it there you will still find it, it is a plant that you need to water, it dies the moment you stop caring for it. Distance does put a strain because sometimes you don't want to talk, just having your friends around to be there physically. Distance isn't to blame, there are social networks, even if they are online, there is no greeting, it's fading away like a mist, but mists fade to clear, this friendship fades to darkness. I remember how the four of us swore and made atruce that distance is nothing but a meter, maybe times 100, but still it doesn't count because love is stronger. Well it was something related to that. We tried to make movie dates, but one always cancelled, make another date to go to one of our houses but again some would withdraw. That was when I realised that with change, no matter how hard you try to make things stay the same, priorities change, even if yours don't, theirs' do. Memories are there to be a reminder, to always go through them if you want to cheer up, but these...these are just images, words are just words, you just wonder if they were meant. Especially when you realise that you are the one who always tried to make effort. When you stop, nothing and no one continues, you then begin to question. At the beginning of other new frienships you don't bother much because they are so much fun, but as time goes you realise that there is so much more that is missing, yes it's no competition, or comparison, but you realise that isn't much in common. Then I'd write in ma journal and tell, but now I write in my journal and that is it. One of those awkward moments when it is obvious that you are not on their A list, that you don't even see yourself on the Z list (if there is even one). You know you don't have real friends when you want to pick up the phone and call, you scroll through your contact list more than twice and you don't see anyone to call. I think one knows when friendship doesn't exist, but ignorance just strikes through and overshines the truth, it's little things that matter most. I sometimes wonder if perfect friends last only in movies, where people were friends since at birth, sometimes more than 10 years, and still going strong, and by perfect I mean that there are fights, but in the end they don't seem to matter. One of those moments you don't want a clean slate, because you don't know where to start or how to, but you know you are tired of old written pages. In the end, one has conclusions, but right now I don't because I believe conclusions are not endings but findings, I have not found a thing. Not confussion, just realisation!